Poem~Dear Mother~

Mother is the person who gave my life into this world

 

Angry, Sadness, Hatred, Loneliness

I could have felt all kinds of emotions since I met my mom

 

Even if I wanted to be close to you

but we couldn’t

Even if I wanted to connect our hearts

but we couldn’t

I was just waiting for you all the time

 

I wish I could talk to you more if I could return to those days

You were always busy and your heart was not here for me

 

I wish I could support for you if I could return to those days

because you looked too painful to me

 

I wish I could snuggled with you more

I wish you could give me a lot of hugs 

I wish you were more gentle to me

 

I wish you weren’t denied about me

I wish you weren’t offended to me

Every time when you offended to me

I felt like you were offending to me because I’m not good

Or you hated about me

 

There’s something that I found about you when I grew up to adult

There’s something that I found about you when I started raising my child

You were just a women and a human who carries the pain on your heart

You just have been full blame on your self, just like me

 

Parenting is the too many stuff I don’t know

However,

I know now you just didn’t know well about child raising as well

I know now you have everything done on your best on those days

 

And now

Even you live in a far away from me

In the deep in your heart

You always carries guilty and blame on your self just like this

 “I wish I could treat more better to my child”

 

Even when I was being selfish, rebelled to ignore, grudge to you

You still cooked for me and sometime you just left me along

 

I always wanted you to be perfect mother

I always made such a big deal with everything you have done to me 

However, you were just kept taking care of me even you felt struggle with your life

I just could not recognized there was your unconditional love all around me

 

Stuff I wanted from you were always given to me 

It was just not the way I wanted to…..

Stuff I wanted you to do to me were given to me

There was someone else have given to me instead from you

 

Mother is the person who gave “My Life” into this world

I’m giving my child the unconditional love you gave to me with struggle feeling as well as blaming myself

I just keep giving with my hands to next generations

This Poem was written by Mami Nishitani (Expert of healing the birth trauma & inner child)

Translated by Satoko Lorensen

CEO CosmicMother Inc, Mami Nishitani

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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